Many Sands members have found that collecting and creating keepsakes can provide a lot of comfort and is a lasting way to remember your baby. Here are some of the ideas we have found useful.

Hospital keepsakes
The hospital should offer you a memories folder, containing footprints and handprints of your baby; a lock of hair; a photograph; and your baby's hospital wristband. This will be offered to you when you leave hospital. You may not initially want to accept it, because you are so shocked and traumatised by your baby's death, but hospitals will often keep folders in case parents decide they want them at a later date.

Creating a memories box
You could decorate a box and use it to keep all your memories of your baby in the same place. You might include:

*    the hospital memories folder
*    your baby's birth certificate (if your child was born at 24+ weeks)
*    cards you received from well-wishing friends and relatives after your baby died
*    mementoes of your baby's funeral
*    cards from funeral flowers
*    some of the clothes your baby wore

Putting together a photo album
You could take the time to put any photos from the hospital or that you took yourselves into an album. That way, you have all the photos in one place to go and look at whenever you want to. You could also put a few photos of your baby around the house.

Jewellery
You could buy a locket and put pictures of your baby in it. There is a website in the US, which specialises in baby loss jewellery. For example, it sells heart-shaped charms, which you can have engraved with your baby's name, birth date and footprints, and customised jewellery with your baby's birth stone. The company ships to the UK. See La Belle Dame.

Commissioning a sketch or painting of your baby
You could have a painting or pencil/charcoal sketch done of your baby from photos. You could find your own local artist or, alternatively, national Sands has connections with an artist called Sue Fernandes, who has done many portraits for Sands members (price circa £50; contact national Sands for details on 020 7436 7940). This doesn't have to be expensive and can provide comfort and an enduring memory.

Attending memorial services
The Royal Sussex County Hospital in Brighton, The Princess Royal in Haywards Heath and Worthing Hospitals all run annual memorial services for babies who have died. Babies are remembered individually through the service and attendees have the opportunity to read a poem, should they wish to, and to view the books of remembrance held by the hospitals.

See this website for details of the Royal Sussex service; contact MAPS for details of the Haywards Heath service and Forget-me-Not Families for details of the Worthing service (see useful links page for contacts).

Every year just before Christmas, national Sands holds a Lights of Love service in London. This is an evening of carols and remembrance, where bereaved parents have the opportunity to write cards for their loved ones who died and put them on Christmas trees which remain in the church over the festive period; and to light candles for their little ones. See national Sands for details. See this link for a story about Brighton and Hove Sands members' attendance of the London Lights of Love Service in 2006.

There are also services run by local churches to remember those who have died each Christmas.

Painting for your baby
You could paint something in memory of your child. This might be your own painting/picture or you might want to paint some stones and lay them somewhere significant (at your baby's grave or memorial plot or in your garden perhaps).

A group of Sands members also visited Brighton's Paintpots studio (Trafalgar Street) to paint items of pottery in memory of their babies. Those who attended found the experience both comforting and cathartic.